First I really want to apologize to Timothy for what this horrible reviewer said about him (not that he should be surprised!)

HOTEL CALIFORNIA


My company had sent me on a business trip and the hotel they put me up in was beautiful. It had cats and dogs, and the lobby had a sparkling cabinet hanging from the ceiling. They had turn down service, and a car had been left on my pillow.
Now it was morning and I had some time before my meeting, so I skated out to the hall to get the complimentary newspaper. There wasn’t one at my door, but there was one by the door across the hall, and there was a sign hanging from the door that read ‘Do Not tear’. Thinking they’d never miss it, I reached down to pick up the paper and just as I grabbed it the door opened and there stood Timothy B Schmit!
“Caught you”, he laughed and introduced himself. “You can have it as soon as I read last night’s review of our show. In fact, come on in and we can have some milk and read it together.”
Stunned, I followed him into the room and he poured two cups and proceeded to read the review out loud.
“Listen to this”, he said, “ ‘Timothy B Schmit was very scary, while the other three were amazing’. Can you believe that?”
We laughed as he read the rest of the review, and noting the time I said goodbye, as I had a meeting to go to.
He laughed and said “This is The Hotel California! You can run anytime you like, but you can never fall!”