Eagles Rock Retractions

[sodascouts]

On Twitter, there's this game where you take statements made in rock lyrics and "retract" them with a little explanation. Here's some general examples. It's silly but it can be funny, too. In this thread, we can do an Eagles version of this.

I''ll start:

- Honey, I'm sorry, I no longer believe we can chug all night. I just don't have the stamina. Hugging all night is out, too. It makes my arm cramp up.

- I'm already gone, and I'm feeling pretty bummed out. The letter that you wrote me was HARSH!!

- You know what? Where I am IS the center of the universe, and that's more than alright with me!

- Eh, I don't really feel like I've got to do something. That rocking chair looks pretty comfy.

- No, sir, you can't check out any time you like at the Hotel California. If you're not out of the room by noon, you'll be charged for an additional day.

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That's how it goes. They don't have to contain the title, but the more recognizable the lyrics, the funnier it is!

[Troubadour]

Believe it or not, I'd never encountered this game before! But I gave it a go. Hope these are "correct"! It was fun.

- Time passes and you must move on... but one more drink shouldn't hurt.

- I came home to an empty house, so I put on The Best ‘80s Power Ballads In The World Ever and pretended I was Bonnie Tyler for an hour or two.

- I turn on the tube and what do I see? Amateur cookery competitions, mainly..

- Your momma’s too thin, your daddy's too fat, but your brother's, like, seriously hot.

- Raven hair and ruby lips... Alice Cooper hasn’t changed.

- You can spend all your time making money... and then you can buy nice things. Like an iPad.

- Put me on a highway. Any one. Except the M27. Cos that’s a nightmare on Fridays.

- It’s another Tequila Sunrise and WOW, am I DRUNK!!!!!11

[sodascouts]

LOL! Those work for me!

[Troubadour]

Cool! A few more:

- If I could catch you in an unguarded moment, I’d probably try my best to scare the living crap out of you.

- You’re the only one who’s ever heard my song... So? What do you think?

- You’ve been out ridin’ fences? Well don’t ask me to pull out the splinters!

- I come before you with my heart in my hand... metaphorically... don’t freak out...

- You see it your way, I see it mine, but we both know I’m right.

[luvthelighthouse]

I can see this being hilarious! Troub, as usual, you crack me up!

[Glennsallnighter]

Troub and Soda, they are brilliant. I must try to come up with a few.

In the meantime.....

-I wanna sleep with you in the desert tonight..... but if that doesn't suit your hotel room will do just fine.

[sodascouts]

Hehe GA and Trou!


thought of a few more "rock retractions" in honor of The Long Run:

- Well, honey, to be honest, nowadays there might be a few debutantes in Houston who could hold a candle to you looks-wise. It's been a long run indeed.

- Actually, I can tell you why I turn around and stay. You're really hot!

- The King of Hollywood admitted, "For years I've seen 'em come and go, but I haven't had 'em all, you know. Farrah Fawcett slapped me so hard after our little heart-to-heart that it left a bruise... but that was nothing compared to the beat down I got from Lee Majors when he found out."

- "We can beat around the bushes, we can get down to the bone, we can leave it in the parking lot...." - "Um,excuse me, are you trying to come on to me? Because that actually sounds pretty painful. Why don't we just go back to my place?"

- Oh yes, I can do that in these shoes, babe. Just watch me!

- We thought we could change this world with words like love and freedom.... but then we realized we wouldn't make any money that way and said "Screw that!"

[MikeA]

"On a dark desert highway....my Maserati does 185"

"Life in the fast lane...slow down, you're moving way to fast"

"There is moonlight and moss in the trees....there is a bad moon a risin'"

[Ive always been a dreamer]

"Did you do it for love? Did you do it for money?" Umm - both ... I loved making all that money.

[Troubadour]

She wasn't just another woman. In fact, "she" wasn't a woman at all... but I don't really want to talk about that right now.