Mike,
the respect is mutual to be sure!
The story about the girls was intended to illustrate that they were angry because they felt a sense of entitlement, that they DESERVED to sing because they were in the club... kind of the customer is always right.
We have two members in our country band that HATE when people want to sing and get made when we let them. It is there position that we are professional musicians performing music for people (for pay)... it is my take that we are entertainers being paid to entertain the crowd which can include letting audience members sing once in awhile...
I think hanging out in your house or in a garage and jamming with friends poses no issue on the copyright front (obviously xeroxing charts and music is a violation, I have absolutely been in violation of this.)
The two key issues: 1) If an artist (or his folks) does not enforce copyright does he lose rights? Yes. And he loses money that the law says is his. 2) Is there a benefit garnered by the violator? Is the gain measurable in monetary terms? Some times. Remember the ukulele guy... that Jake guy who did the "over the rainbow" and became a pretty big star through his youtube... did choosing that song, benefit him? I'd argue it did (I also think the copyright for that song has lapsed, so it was hunky dory) but if he had done, say, "Fire and Rain" or "Take it Easy" shouldn't the songwriter have benefitted too? I don't know for sure myself.
I don't have any strong feelings about this issue. A song is not like a brownie (this is my stoner friends explanation of this.) A song is not a brownie... now, if some fools went and took 3 or 4 brownies that your grandma made for you because she loves you... she'd be mad and you'd be mad. Then, if you found them selling those brownies for 2 bucks a piece, you'd really be mad. Hell, if they had asked your granny, she would have made them some... but stealing them.. that is bad.
one other thing I've learned over the years is: They call it show business, not show fun. When we get disappointed in artists whose music we love... just realize, us criticizing what they do professionally would be like having your neighbor who loves your yard come to your office and be mad about your phone mannerisms. it is about making money... for better or worse.