Having a hard time sleeping, so I watched some funny videos on YouTube. This one had me ROLLING.
Weird Al Yankovic's "White and Nerdy" video
Having a hard time sleeping, so I watched some funny videos on YouTube. This one had me ROLLING.
Weird Al Yankovic's "White and Nerdy" video
Always in our hearts, Never forgotten
I love Weird Al! You have to be talented to do such spot-on parodies.
The Good News and the Bad News
Two 90 year old men, Moe and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, Moe visits him every day.
One day Moe says, "Joe, we both loved baseball all our lives, and we played minor league ball together for so many years. Please do me one favor, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's baseball up there."
Joe looks up at Moe from his death bed. " Moe, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you."
Shortly after that, Joe passes on.
At midnight a couple of nights later, Moe is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Moe--Moe."
"Who is it? Asks Moe sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
"Moe--it's me, Joe."
"You're not Joe. Joe just died."
"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice.
"Joe! Where are you?"
"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."
"Tell me the good news first," says Moe.
"The good news," Joe says," is that there's baseball in heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play baseball all we want, and we never get tired."
"That's fantastic," says Moe. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what could possibly be the bad news?"
"You're pitching Tuesday. "
Brilliant!! I love it!
'I must be leaving soon... its your world now'
Glenn Frey 1948-2016 RIP
That's priceless, Df!!
Very funny, DF!
LOL! Good one!
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
A 6 year old boy and a 4 year old boy are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues,"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with the word hell and you say something with ass."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK ! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out !"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man ?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios !"
Sounds like breakfast time in our house!
Glenn Frey 1948-2016 RIP
I'm full of them this afternoon....
BEST GENIE STORY EVER...
A husband took his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass. A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life! And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't be en with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses --what do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No Kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old.... .and both of you still believe in genies?"
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